Originally written January 1, 2020
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Midnight January 1, 2010 I was a drunken mess, popping handfuls of prescription pain killers. My life centered around me, what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and how drunk I was gonna be in order to do it. If you were gonna try to stop me or limit me, fuck you. I was failing out of University and I wanted to die 99% of the time. Needless to say, I was nowhere near dependable, unless you were depending on me to fuck up.
Holy shit a lot has changed. I'm still a mess, but it is a controlled mess. I only wanna die like 10% of the time. And while I might not like it, today I can take gentle correction. I fought through 3 different appeal processes, and finally got my bachelor's degree. I show up for work and attempt to do my best while I am there. I have humans who depend on me; I even have two who think I'm the whole world, and that's both pretty cool and fairly terrifying.
I have some plans I would like to see to fruition; maybe by 2030 I'mma have my act together enough to see them through. Man, who would have thought I'd still be alive today.
Happy New Year, y'all. Love and light to y'all.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🎉🎉🎉
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